Have you ever read 1 Corinthians 13? I mean really taken the time to comprehend it’s meaning and all that following such guidance entails? When was the last time your love for another person has truly been tested? In my opinion, the best and most clear instruction we have been given on exactly what God expects from us in how we are to love each other is found in these verses of scripture.

“Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” 1 CORINTHIANS‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭AMP‬‬

When a person moves through much of their life without experiencing this kind of love, it is difficult to trust when it presents itself. So many of us spend our energy chasing shadows of fear and doubt, we have trouble distinguishing them from what is real and true in our lives. Especially when someone we come to love and trust more than we have ever allowed does something that causes us to question whether or not we can continue to love them as we have before.

Notice in the verses above, there is nothing that says our love is to be conditional. No, we are instructed to remain steadfast during difficult times. We are told that our love is not supposed to take into account a wrong endured. That all sounds great in scripture, but it is not as easy or simple to practice in reality.

The truth is that love is messy. People we love, even those with whom we share a higher love, call it a Godly love, are going to make mistakes. We are imperfect beings at best, and in spite of our best efforts, we are going to say and do things that are going to hurt those we love the most. One of the hardest things to accept and move past is a wrong endured. But that is what we are commanded to do.

Think about a time when you said or did something that caused someone you truly love significant hurt. You would give just about anything to take it back and undo the pain you caused, wouldn’t you? Now reverse the circumstances… think of a pain or betrayal you endured at the hands of someone you truly love and trust. Consider how you would feel if you were in their shoes, knowing you hurt them deeply, however unintentionally it may have been. Imagine the pain of regret you would feel, not to mention the overwhelming sadness at the reality that you couldn’t undo what had been done.

My point is that people are more than their worst mistakes. We must consider who they are as a rule, not as an exception. My favorite part of the scripture above is verse 7 at the end…“Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening].” This kind of love is what I strive for, especially in the relationships most important to me.

The more we love others, the closer we are to our Heavenly Father. I read something from Joyce Meyer not long ago that said we mistakenly believe forgiveness is a feeling, and our instinct is to withhold our forgiveness and love until our feelings tell us we are ready to forgive. She went on to say that forgiveness is a choice. We must choose to forgive, and then each day remember the choice we made with our words and actions, knowing that our feelings will eventually catch up. When we do this, God is able to step in and heal our hearts because we’ve allowed Him the access to do so. By holding on to the hurt and keeping those we love at a distance, we are also keeping God at a distance. In the end, the only one who gets what they want is the adversary.

“Beloved, let us [unselfishly] love and seek the best for one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves [others] is born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7 AMP

If there is anything in this life worth a risk, it is love. When we find those rare individuals who are willing to see us as we really are, with all of our cracks, scars, and flaws, and love us all the more because of them, we can be sure those are people God put in our lives for a reason. That doesn’t mean they won’t ever take a wrong turn, but it does mean that when they do, chances are pretty high that they never intended to take a turn that would hurt us, just as we would never intend to hurt them.

“I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.” John 13:34