Over the last two years of my life, I have watched the hand of God at work in more ways than I can possibly count. While I have experienced a great deal of loss with the passing of my grandfather, then 6 months later my beloved grandmother, and another 7 months after that, my mother. During those months of loss, God was frequently speaking very clearly to my heart and guiding me towards a very specific path in my life.

I have always enjoyed expressing myself in a variety of visual ways…writing is my first love, photography a close second. I also love to do pencil sketches, but am only moved to do those as a significant show of love and emotion. The path that has become more and more prevalent in my life is the one focused on my love of writing. For several months, my precious sister frequently encouraged me to begin sharing my writings with other people, and it was her encouragement that brought about this blog. Her input and support are invaluable tools the Lord uses to open my heart and strengthen my spirit. It is because of her that I found the courage to walk a path that led me to my husband, and subsequently, my involvement in our church choir. She and I were not made sisters in a biological sense, but God definitely made us sisters in Christ, and blessed us with a very rare and singular bond for which I will never cease offering prayers of gratitude.

It has taken me 48 years to find the love of my life, and looking back over my life and his, it is easy to see how specifically he and I were prepared for one another. I have been blessed with a man who places God at the center of his life and our marriage. He is kind and loving, and is a truly wonderful support to me. He continues to encourage me in my writing, as well, and is always willing to do whatever he can to help me follow the path the Lord has placed in front of me. One thing he has suggested is that I be even more open and transparent in this forum about the current struggles I’m facing. So, in an effort to do God’s will, I’m going to try and pull back a little bit of the curtain I keep around my inner life.

Those closest to me know that I battle a great deal of anxiety, and often an escalation into panic. I believe that I am on a path that is intended to serve the kingdom of God in a significant way, and because of that, Satan is coming at me from multiple directions. I often feel lost and fearful, and I am grateful to be reminded that truly trusting God with my future means not living my present in fear and worry. Ultimately, as Joyce Myer points out, worry is a selfish state of being. It is showing God that we are so focused on whether or not we will be granted our own desires and selfish pursuits, we default to fear and anxiety. Our choice must be to accept what is before us, knowing beyond a doubt that the most powerful example of our faith is existing in peace with what God has provided.

When we truly believe that the Lord is always providing what is best for our life in the present, then we have no reason to feel angst about the things we don’t have. Sometimes we make mistakes in life that cost us dearly, but no matter how badly we mess up, when we approach our Heavenly Father with a truly contrite and remorseful spirit and ask to be forgiven, He can take the messed up circumstances we’ve created for ourselves, and make something truly amazing out of them.

So, we need to pray for each other…I need prayers for peace and acceptance…I need prayers for guidance and for the reparation of a truly meaningful relationship. Each time I sit down to write in this blog, I pray that God will give me the words He needs me to share. I pray that if there is something somebody out there needs to hear, He will guide my fingers on the keyboard and help me deliver those words to them. I have a great deal of love and gratitude for all of you who choose to read this, and I always pray that I will be able to stay out of God’s way and do the work He needs me to do in this world. If you’re suffering with worry and anxiety, please know that you’re not alone, and try to comprehend that God is with you, always willing to help you fight off the attacks of the enemy. You just have to ask for his help, and trust Him to follow through.

“We have come to know [by personal observation and experience], and have believed [with deep consistent faith] the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides continually in him.” 1 John 4:16 AMP