All day every day I am taking patient’s vital signs. I’ve come to realize that this interaction can be cold, impersonal, and all business, OR it can be a time of bonding, of warmth, and showing my patients that I truly care about them and their wellbeing. It comes very naturally to me to take the latter pathway. I don’t know if any of you have ever stopped to consider how personal taking vital signs can be, but the reality of it hits me every time I place a thermometer into someone else’s mouth. I am continually struck by the vulnerability of the person sitting in the chair, and the trust they place in me with that one simple gesture of opening their mouth. Consider the depth of intimacy in sharing a kiss with the one you love. I can’t explain what makes it so deeply personal, only that it is. I’m very cognizant of this fact each and every time I reach out with that little stick in my hand.

Even taking a blood pressure is an opportunity for calming a soul and showing a person love and compassion. A blood pressure is more accurate when the arm is at or above the level of the heart. In my vitals room, I don’t have a chair or table on which a patient can rest their arm, so I’ve started holding their arms up myself. I usually place one hand under the back of their arm to hold most of the weight of the arm, and let their hand rest in mine. I tend to talk to them, often trying to share a little humor and lighten their spirits as best I can. In doing this, what I’ve found is the majority of the patients relax and open up during this process. All in all, it’s about a five minute span of time, but the relationship that can be developed and the love that can be shown during those five minutes can set the tone for their entire treatment experience.

When people come to our office for the first time, they have stepped into a world that is dark and unfamiliar. They are being told what their new world looks like, but they still can’t see it in their minds. I remember when we deployed to Iraq, upon our arrival, we first spent a week in Kuwait. When we landed in Kuwait, it was nighttime and the desert landscape was dark and ominous. Many of us had never been in that region of the world before, and even though we’d seen pictures and heard stories, we hadn’t seen it for ourselves. It wasn’t until the light of day that we finally were able to lay eyes on our surroundings, the cloud of mystery burned away by the hot, unforgiving ball of fire in the sky. By the same token, have you ever noticed how powerful the light of the moon can be in the darkest hours of the night? It’s in the darkest hours of our lives that even the smallest light can bring peace and just enough illumination to calm the soul and quiet the rumbles of fear in our minds. THAT is what I try and do for my patients. As they are walking into an unfamiliar darkness, I do my best to bring in enough light to give them courage to take another step forward.

At least four or five times a week, sometimes more, I dream that God has blessed me with a much needed restoration of a damaged relationship. These dreams bring both light and darkness to my soul. I don’t know what God has planned, but I know that I trust His plan implicitly. He is always shining light into the dark, always sending me what I need to take another step forward. Sometimes I wish I could stop caring…I wish I could close off my heart and cut out the pain of loss once and for all. But my Heavenly Father didn’t build me that way. He built me to hope, to love, to forgive, and to always keep moving forward. God has given me some absolutely incredible blessings over the last year. The man I now share my life with is the greatest blessing of my life. His children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins, are all so amazing in their own ways, and I can honestly say I have quickly grown to love each and every one of them for the people they are and the kindness they’ve shown me. God has allowed me to maintain relationships with the nieces and nephews He brought into my life not so long ago, and for that I give thanks with every prayer I utter. The list goes on and on.

I guess this is why I am so amazed that, in the face of such an abundance of blessings, I still find myself frequently weighed down by the loss of one single person. I suppose that is indicative of the depth of the love and the value of the relationship we share. While I know what my heart desires most, I also know that it is what God wants for me that is most important. Prayer is our strongest weapon in the face of life’s challenges, and just as I pray for each and every one of you that you have the strength and courage only God can provide you to face the hardships in your life, I ask that maybe you say a prayer for me today. A prayer for strength. A prayer for calm. A prayer for restoration of what has been lost.

What is it in your life that you are struggling to understand? What is it that you are fervently asking God to help you with, and how long are you willing to keep asking? Are you asking Him to grant you only what YOU want, or are you asking Him to grant what you want, but only if it is HIS will to do so? And whatever it is you are asking for, do you know why it is so important to you? I pray that you are all getting what you need in your lives. I pray that God grant each of you the righteous desires of your hearts. Above all, I pray He brings you comfort where and when you need it, and He fills your hearts with the peace that surpasses all understanding, which only He can provide.

May God bless you all…there may not always be sunshine, but even on cloudy days, there is always light!