My mom’s birthday is coming up in a couple of days…she would have been 67 this year. She passed from this world just over a month before she would have turned 66. It is still hard for me to comprehend that she is gone. Her passing was unexpected, and she lived across the country from me. I hadn’t seen her for a very long time, and our relationship was just beginning to find a long overdue closeness. I am still learning how to be okay with all of that.

Relationships are complicated and hard more often than not, but only because we allow our humanity to make them that way. We have expectations of people, typically ones they know nothing about, that are frequently unfulfilled. We get lost in the disappointment that follows, and all too often, are tempted to walk away. We are fooled into thinking that having hard conversations with those we love is too much to bear, so we refuse to have them. We choose to hide from those who wound us because we are tricked into believing that will keep our hearts safe.

The truth is that we are expected to have those hard conversations, because that is how we, as people, and our relationships grow and become stronger. Many of us know we need to get off our backsides and exercise, but we know it’s hard, and rarely is it something we want to do. But people who choose to get up and put in the effort are the ones who reap the rewards. Choosing to put in the work on relationships that matter to us is the mental and emotional equivalent of going to the gym.

God is always going to be there waiting to bless our lives abundantly, but we have to have the strength to stand up and fight for those blessings, because the enemy is constantly there doing whatever he can to prevent us from getting or keeping those blessings. When God led the people of Israel to the promised land, he didn’t hand them a clear and unoccupied place. He brought them to the borders and said, “Ok, there it is. Now go in and take it.” They had to trust that He was going to be with them, ensuring that they were successful in their conquest, but they had to do the work to take hold of what was being offered.

It is no different for us today. God is continually placing blessings in front of us, but He insists we have the strength to take hold of them, and fight hard to keep them. What blessings has God brought your way that you believe are out of your reach? What has He placed right in front of you that you’re afraid to trust or accept? I know He never makes mistakes, and I continue to fight for one of the biggest blessings He has ever set before me. I also know that I have to trust that as long as I am doing my best, He will be there to help me with whatever I need.

The harder it is for me to keep moving forward, the more I understand how hard Satan is working to hold me back. I go back to the words of my dear friend, and will do my best to simply “let go” of what I’m trying to control. I will do my best to stop fighting a fight that isn’t mine to win. I will stop taking old hurts and placing them onto those who never caused them, and I will never give up and walk away from those I love with all my heart. What about you?