I love listening to my pastor speak on Sundays. He’s a good man with an honest heart. God has blessed him with the ability to speak deep and complicated truths very plainly. His words often open my mind to the message God needs me to hear by disarming my own stubborn defenses. Today was no exception.

We’ve been listening to sermons the last few weeks teaching us about the various ways God defines and describes Himself for us throughout the Bible. Today we discussed His self-description as a “jealous God” and what that really means. The heart of the matter is that God is not jealous OF us, He is jealous FOR us. The concept of how God can be jealous and still be perfect is difficult to reconcile. However, that’s because we are using our human definition of jealousy, which is not accurate or what God meant in His own description.

Think about the people who mean the most to you in your life. We’ve all experienced a feeling that perhaps someone else matters more to us than we do to them. I was told something in a discussion about friendships years and years ago, when I was a teenager, which (good or bad) always colored how I view relationships. The comment was made that if I meant as much to my friends as they did to me, then I would hear from them more frequently. Basically, if they cared enough about me, then they’d make time for me the way I was willing to make time for them. Now this is both a true and a dangerous statement.

Having experienced a great deal of neglect at the hands of my troubled mother, I gained a core belief that I wasn’t worth very much as a person. I’m not saying that’s true, only that it is a belief I fight against to this day. When it appears someone I care about will only sacrifice time for me if I am either doing something that benefits them or they’re filling an acute need for me, but otherwise I don’t hear much from them, my feeling is that I’m only a priority when it’s necessary or convenient. Again, it’s the sense that I’m only a place holder until better things are there to fill the gap.

If I flip that around and consider how God must feel when I don’t make time for Him, the concept of a jealous God is much easier to understand. He created me… He blesses me and loves me and stays with me through every moment. He longs for fellowship with me. When I find excuses to miss church or skip days in my devotional or Bible study or choose to not participate in prayer, I’m telling Him that things of the world matter more to me that He does. I’m telling Him with my actions what the people I care about are telling me… He’s not a priority.

My actions, or the lack thereof, speak to the world, to my loved ones, and to God, exactly what my priorities are in this life. God is there for me at all times, not just when circumstances make it convenient or easy. Just as I need to choose to give time to God, and just as my Father gives grace to me when I fail to give Him my time and attention, I need to show grace to those who may not choose to give time to me in the way I feel I need it most.

“but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.”

‭‭2 CORINTHIANS‬ ‭12:9‬ ‭AMP‬‬