The absence of pain, whether physical or emotional, is not where we find peace. It is absolutely possible to be in pain and still have peace. God promises us that He can and will use even our worst pain for good. The trials and pain we endure in this life allow us to help others who experience similar things. I once read that our greatest pain is likely to be our greatest ministry.

What this means to me is that I have to approach every challenge with the understanding that it will serve a purpose. I need to do my best to allow God to show me the way through, not just by leaning on myself and my own understanding, but by leaning on and learning from the people He brings into my life. That’s why fellowship with other believers is so very important.

We spend so much time lost in the cyber world of social media, we begin to believe we can maintain relationships through some tiny device and 200 apps. The reality is that we start choosing the digital world over the one God puts right in front of us. We lock our hearts, minds, and bodies away behind closed doors and locked gates. We begin to believe even more firmly that we have control over our lives. Turning away from friends and family in times of hardship becomes as simple as “unfriending” them and blocking their number.

We don’t often choose to sit down and talk things through when relations get hard. We choose to hide. How can we possibly be out doing God’s work in the lives of others if we’re too busy staying locked behind our own imposed fortresses? How can we learn and grow if we always hide from what’s hard?

For me, conflict is one of my worst nightmares. But I’ve learned that walking with someone you love through conflict can build even stronger, more God-centered relationships. We learn how to show grace by being willing to both talk and listen. We learn to love more honestly when we do so without living in fear of losing that love or just not having it returned. We learn to love more completely when we can serve those we love without expectations of any kind. Christ-like love isn’t one that keeps score of who gives how much and when. It’s a love available to be used when and how God sees fit.

Life is full of storm clouds, and comparing what our lives look like to someone else’s is like trying to decide if a blizzard or a hurricane is worse to endure. Ultimately, they both suck in different ways. The hurricane folks live in areas of tropical paradise, but all too often, entire towns are destroyed by the storms. The blizzard folks get white Christmases, sledding and skiing, snowmen and snow angels, but lose people to hypothermia and frostbite and avalanches.

Every garden has worms and spiders… just because you can’t see or understand the seemingly insignificant struggles of someone you think “has it all” doesn’t mean they don’t struggle as hard as you do with the things you can’t see. All the more reason for staying present with those God gives us, for giving them grace when their struggle is getting the better of them, and making time to be “God with skin on” (as my husband says) whenever we can. Trust me… the opportunities are plentiful to do so!

I know that God is good, and I’m learning how to shift my focus away from the world and back to Him. Even when I don’t know how I’m going to climb my way from one end of the day to the other, I still find peace. Even when heartache gets the better of me and the tears start to flow, I find peace. When I choose God over myself, I ALWAYS find peace.