“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” James‬ ‭4:1-3 NIV‬‬ “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James‬ ‭4:6-7 NIV‬‬ “If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”James‬ ‭4:17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

One hard truth about this life is that it’s promised to be filled with struggle and strife. God never promised to come along, wave His will about and take all our hardship away. He promised that we would always encounter hardship, but He would always provide what we need to get through it.

Therefore, the assumption can be made that, if we don’t have what we want, then we don’t need to have it. When we stay focused on what we believe we need, allowing ourselves to be obsessed with getting or keeping the things we believe we need, we are putting ourselves into a constant state of fear and anxiety.

When we remain so focused on what we want for ourselves, we leave no room for anything else, especially God’s will. No matter what we think, our lives are not about us. We aren’t put here to have everything our way. We’re here to learn and grow in godly wisdom so that we can help others do the same.

“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”
‭‭James‬ ‭4:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I believe God uses others to help us stay on His path, to share important (and sometimes painful) truths with us, and to show us love during times of correction. He may give us insight into another person’s situation or struggle, but His guidance for each of His children’s paths goes primarily to that individual child.

Making a judgement on someone else’s choices and journey isn’t our place. We don’t have their whole picture. While we may disagree with their choices, even believing they are flat out wrong, we cannot be sure our opinion is right for their path.

Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to NOT rely on our own understanding, to rely on Him in all our ways, and then HE will direct our paths.

But, for argument’s sake, let’s say we’re correct and there is a mistake or a poor choice being made. Haven’t we been assured that God can use ALL things for our good, even our mistakes.

So, why then do we always feel distress when someone we love appears (from our perspective) to be off God’s beaten path? Because part of our purpose is to help other believers stay as close to God and His will as humanly possible.

Also, there are certain people I believe God places in our lives specifically to help them on their path. We just have to remember that it’s not up to us to dictate how we do that… it’s up to us to show up and use whatever opportunities we are given to help in the way that is needed at the time.

We are to love people because that is one of our greatest commandments. Not so we can be loved the way we want in return. Loving others isn’t about gaining, it’s about giving. However, when we love others with the right spirit and motivation, our gains come back tenfold in the manner God deems best.

When you trust yourself more than you trust God, you’re choosing to be friends with the world instead of Him.

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”
‭‭James‬ ‭4:3-4‬ ‭NIV‬‬